Plastic Surgeon Boobs Ad Funny Lazy Eye

How does a woman show she's planning for the future? Plastic Surgery.

Why did the isosceles triangle get plastic surgery?

So it could be acute triangle

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

New kinds of implants.

So a girl went into a plastic surgery clinic to get a breast enlargement, the doctors told her that they ran out of silicon and all they had left was wood. She didn't get it obviously that would be stupid woodentit?

Bill works in a machine shop. One day he gets into an accident at work...

He leans in too close to a piece of machinery and chops off his arm. Bob rushes over to help. He puts Bill's arm in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. An hour later Bill comes out with his arm reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.

A few weeks later, Bill leans in too close again and chops off his leg. Bob puts Bill's leg in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 2 hours later Bill comes out with his leg reattached. "Ah, the miracles of modern medicine," says Bob.

A few weeks later, Bill once again leans in too close and lops off his head. Bob puts Bill's head in a plastic bag and takes him to the hospital. 3 hours go by and finally a doctor emerges from the surgery room. He walks over to Bob and says, "I'm sorry, but your friend didn't make it." Bob is distraught and says, "But the miracles of modern medicine have samed him before. Why couldn't you reattach his head?" The doctor replies, "We would have been able to, but some idiot put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated."

The next batch of women who get plastic surgery

Will have a stamp on their paperwork that shows they made with 33% recycled Joan Rivers.

There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...

The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."

Plastic Surgery

I loaned a friend £5000 to get plastic surgery last week...

I'll never get the money back, I dunno what he looks like now.

Finals in college are a lot like plastic surgery

walk in with A's and leave with D's.

Guy goes engagement ring shopping

A guy goes engagement ring shopping and finally picks out a ring after debating on how much to spend on the ring. The owner looks at the young man's nervous face and tells him, "don't worry, you can always upgrade in a few years."

The guy looks confused and asks, "you do plastic surgery here too?"

If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company "Breast Buy".

You can explore plastic surgery scalpel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean plastic surgery cosmetic dad jokes. There are also plastic surgery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

I met a plastic surgeon at a bar last night...

He specialized in male-to-female sexual reassignment surgeries. He was a pretty nice guy, but a total *womanizer*.

My wife an I were sat watching a documentary about plastic surgery earlier..

"Oo, I'd love a bit of that." She said, dreamily. "It'd be great to step out with a different shaped nose."
So I've swapped the doormat for a rake.

My wife is recovering from plastic surgery

I just cut up all her credit cards

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Patient Anonymous!

I see a lot of new faces here and frankly, I'm disappointed.

Welcome to plastic surgery anonymous

I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week and I have to say i'm really disappointed.

I lent a friend of mine $10,000 for plastic surgery

Now I don't know what he looks like.

Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts association,

Nice to see a lot of new faces here today.

Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Addiction Clinic

I can see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I've gotta say, I'm pretty dissapointed.

A Pitbull and Weiner dog get into a fight.

Weiner dog rips the Pitbull into shreds. Terrified Pitbull owner says: - what kind of a dog is this? - how much did you pay for it? The Weiner owner says: -well, I paid $100 for a crocodile and $10000 for the plastic surgery.

I Remember The Guy Who Made Me Smile For The Rest Of My Life

He's the reason why I don't do plastic surgery anymore.

My mate borrowed 20 grand for plastic surgery.

Now I don't know what he looks like.

Why did the plastic surgeon create a surgery to move your ears forward?

Because he wanted to create a new front-ear!

When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject...

These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow.

Hunny, you don't need make up.

You need plastic surgery.

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous

I see a lot of new faces here this week, and I just want you to know I'm disappointed.

I loaned my friend $15K for plastic surgery...

And now I don't know what he looks like.

"Hello everyone, welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous."

"I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."

I gave someone debt money for plastic surgery

And now I don't recognize him

Welcome back to plastic surgery anonymous

I see a lot of new faces today.

I need plastic surgery

to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

I didn't pay the doctor who did my plastic surgery

He rearranged my face.

Plastic surgery anonymous

"Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."

There's a support group dedicated to those addicted to plastic surgery...

The leader walks in and says "Wow, I see a lot of new faces. I have to say I'm disappointed!"

My plastic surgeon didn't even recognize me after the surgery

I guess he's just terrible with faces

My girlfriend asked if she could get plastic surgery on her face.

I told her "Honey, why would you ever feel the need to get plastic surgery?

Paper bags are much cheaper."

Plastic Surgery Anonymous is one of the few places...

where it's disappointing to see a new face each week.

One of the first things they want you to do before getting plastic surgery is....

Pick your nose.

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces tonight, which is disappointing.

I read a book about a man who had plastic surgery.

The preface was really good.

At a Plastic-Surgery-Addicts-Anonymous meeting

Ah, I see we have a few new faces here today.

With all these scandals coming out of Hollywood

I wonder if they need all the plastic surgeries to make them unrecognizable or if they just need plastic surgeries to make them look human.

Welcome to the plastic surgery addiction support group

I see a lot of new faces around

She: "Wait for me darling, I just do my makeup...."

He: "Oh, you don't need makeup."

She: "How nice, you are so sweet."

He: "You need plastic surgery."

Remeber when plastic surgery was a taboo subject?

Now you mention botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous...

... I see a few new faces here and I have to admit, I'm disappointed.

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous

I see some new faces with us today so I must say I'm disappointed.

I have a plastic surgery voucher I no longer want

Will sell for face value.

I went to my plastic surgery addicts anonymous meeting today.

I saw a lot of new faces.

How do you fix a doll with a broken face?

Plastic surgery.

An uncircumcised friend of mine had to have plastic surgery on his eyelids after a severe burn to his face and the doctor used his foreskin for the graft...

The doctor was able to save his sight but now he is a little cockeyed.

Plastic surgery used to be such a taboo subject...

Nowadays if you talk about Botox nobody raises an eyebrow.

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make your outer appearance resemble your inner appearance.

Fake.

Credit - Daniel Tosh

What's the difference between a singer and a farm animal that wants plastic surgery?

One's Iggy Pop. The other's piggy op.

Good afternoon everyone, and thank you for attending the plastic surgery addicts support group

I see many new faces here today.

Which is disappointing.

[OC] What did the chinese guy say to his friend who was feeling down because of a failed plastic surgery?

Why the wrong face?

Any advice on correcting plastic surgery that has gone wrong?

I'm all ears.

Counsellor at a 'plastic surgery addicts' support group...

Welcome, I'm seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd this week, and I must say, I'm disappointed....

Remember when talking about plastic surgery was considered a forbidden subject?

Now you can talk about Botox at a restaurant, and nobody will raise an eyebrow.

Welcome to the plastic surgery addicts meating

I see a lot of new faces today

My Girlfriend wants to put on her makeup.

Me: You don't need makeup.

GF: Aww thanks

Me: You need plastic surgery

The Mitsubishi ASX is like any 60s/70s/80s celebrity.

It's old, attracts older people, has received many plastic surgeries, and just won't die already.

I just had a cheap plastic surgery and I'm not happy with it.

Next time I'll pay for real metal scalpels.

A couple are talking on the phone and they say:

"I'm nearly done, just doing my make-up"

"You don't need make-up honey"

"Aww thanks!"

"You need plastic surgery"

I've heard that the best deals on plastic surgery can be found in Great Britain...

...pound for pound.

Plastic surgery used to be a taboo subject

Now if you mention Botox, no one even raises an eyebrow

Welcome to the Plastic Surgery Anonymous!

It's great to see so many new faces today!

My favorite 2 liner

Welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous. I see a few new faces this week and I'm disappointed.

I just lent my friend £20,000 for plastic surgery

The trouble is I don't know what he looks like now

I gave my wife £10,000 to get plastic surgery

Last week she took the money, got the surgery and ran away.

So not only am i down 10 grand, i don't know who to look for.

hello, and welcome to the plastic surgery addiction meeting

im seeing a lot of new faces in the crowd, and i must say im disappointed.

If anyone's got any tips on how to reverse plastic surgery

I'm all ears.

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